Damn Mario

Damn Mario.
No, actually, damn peach.
Ever played Super Mario?
That was a rhetorical question, of course you have. Everybody has.
And even if you haven't, you know Mario. Little italian in the stupid red outfit, brother called Luigi, hopeless romantic for princess fucking Peach.
Jesus Christ.
Been playing this Mario game today, can't remember what it's called.
*checks* Mario Party 4.
Never heard of Mario Party 1, 2 0r 3 but Mario Patry 4 was just lying around, so I put it in the machine and decided to while away a happy hour or so lost in video game world. Oh the joys.
But seriously...not a happy hour. Anything fucking but.
I swear to God it cheated me. I should have won, definitely. But Peach did, and then Mario, and then me and then fucking Yoshi.
What a rip off.
Mario sucks donkey balls.
And Peach...oh fucking Peach. She bums people for spare change.
Geez.